Solo Travel vs. Travel with a Girlfriend

Traveling with a significant other – in my case, traveling with a girlfriend – is a drastically different way to see the world than solo travel.

The differences can range from eating to transportation, and each type of travel has its advantages and unique daily challenges.

This isn’t a soapbox to air grievances, so don’t worry about that. My experiences in both solo travel and travel with a girlfriend have shown me the stark differences between traveling alone versus with a significant other. I have learned valuable travel and life lessons.

The Truth About Traveling With a Significant Other

Most couples and relationships cannot survive long-term travel. It’s the sad truth. This may sound pessimistic, but it’s a fact proven true from my first-hand encounters with quarreling couples.

At home, each person likely has their own friends and hobbies. And most couples do not work together, guaranteeing several hours apart each day. Going from a life together with plenty of time for yourself to a life together with almost zero time to yourself is a big change.

Throughout my travels, I have met dozens of couples in the midst of long backpacking journeys. Having kept in touch with many of these backpackers, I can only speak of two or three that have remained together after their travels. For reasons which I can only speculate, long-term travel destroys most relationships.

I have also met travelers, too many to count, with horror stories of traveling with a significant other. Upon hearing that I would soon be traveling for several months with my girlfriend, many backpackers offered a halfhearted, wholly-sarcastic “good luck.”

If a relationship can survive long-term travel, it can get through anything. Being side by side, hardly leaving the sight of your girlfriend (or boyfriend) for nearly twenty-four hours a day, yields a different travel experience.

Advantages of Traveling with a Girlfriend (or Boyfriend)

Don’t let the negative stories and warnings deter you from traveling with a girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, etc. There are several advantages to traveling with a significant other:

You have a photographer! Whenever you want a picture in front of a monument, sitting on the edge of a cliff or stuffing some weird food in your face, you have a free photographer. And you don’t have to worry about asking a stranger to take the photo and then running off with the camera, or worse, the phone.

A second set of photos. Continuing with pictures, traveling with a significant other grants access to an entirely different set of photos. Most travelers take hundreds, if not thousands, of photos when traveling. Even so, we all miss a shot at some point. I’m shocked and disappointed by the things and places I remember but have no pictures. Traveling with a girlfriend has been a big help to me. On several occasions, I have been saved by access to thousands of additional photos.

Extra eyes and ears. Perhaps the greatest benefit of traveling with a significant other is having a second set of eyes and ears. Although most of the world is full of kind, helpful people, there are plenty of assholes out there ruining people’s days. Having a second set of eyes to watch your back is comforting.

Two heads are better than one. Backpacking and long-term travel often means traveling with few plans, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges. With less structure and organization, one of these challenges can be struggling to decide where to go or what to do. A second person means an extra mind to come up with ideas. Two brains are also better for solving a problem when it inevitably arises.

Extra Motivation. Travel is tiring, and it’s very common for motivation to wane after weeks or months on the road. Couples traveling together can combat the travel funk by (hopefully) motivating each other to explore and find new experiences each day.

Backup finances. Most travelers think they would never make careless mistakes or lose something important. As a cautious and observant traveler, I never thought it could happen to me. Well, it did happen. And it happened in Bangkok. Thankfully, I was travelling with my girlfriend who stepped up and was able to support us until I straightened out my finances.

A free caretaker. Contracting a fever or a stomach bug in less-developed nations is misery. Falling under the spell of some unknown illness in a strange place is less than ideal. Hopefully you never get sick abroad. Unfortunately, it happens at some point to most backpackers and long-term travelers. I’ve been there, hugging the toilet all night, and it is not a pleasant experience. Having someone to nurse you back to health and ensure that things don’t worsen is a welcome presence.

Medical bills abroad are unpredictable. In case something goes wrong, it’s always best to wander the world with travel insurance. We use World Nomads for its thorough coverage and awesome customer support.

Advantages of Solo Travel

There’s no reason to avoid solo travel over worries of safety or health. Traveling solo is a fun, rewarding experience with plenty of benefits:

Do what you want. Solo travel means doing what you want without having to worry about another’s reservations or preferences. If it’s time for a lazy day, take one. If the bar is calling, have a drink or five. When the mountains call, go trekking. As a solo traveler, itineraries are flexible and you’re free to wander as you please.

Eat when/where you want. Solo travelers don’t have to consider others’ tastes. Traveling alone, you can seek out the spiciest, weirdest foods without worrying about someone else. If you want a burger, no one is there to chastise the decision of not eating local food. Eating as a solo traveler has the added benefit of eating when you want, not having to worry about other hangry backpackers and travelers.

Make whatever new friends you please. Jealousy exists on some level in too many relationships. Solo travelers don’t have to worry about talking to someone that may stir jealousy from their significant other. I’m not advocating for inappropriate behavior or cheating in any sense at all, but solo travelers have the benefit of not having to immediately answer to anyone. Solo travelers also don’t have to worry about staying at the pub with new friends or strangers until last call.

Take risks! It’s easier to take risks and try scary, new things when no one is there to worry about your safety. It sounds absurd to take risks, but that’s part of traveling. Do something fun! It’s better to ask forgiveness than permission, right? It should be noted, however, that there is a difference between taking a risk and being stupid. That being said, solo travelers are already out of their comfort zone, and it’s easier to push it a little further.

Go/stay as you see fit. Some destinations are so incredible that you don’t want to leave. Sometimes they disappoint. Solo travelers have the freedom to extend or shorten a stay in a destination much easier than couples. Only one person’s opinion matters. Part of solo travel is going at your own pace.

Challenges of Travel with a Girlfriend

Traveling with a girlfriend (or boyfriend) is not without its challenges. For all of the benefits, travelling with a significant other is a complicated affair:

Hurry up and wait. Traveling with someone else means testing your patience. At some point, it means waiting. Whether it’s when you’re leaving for the day, trying to catch a flight or desperately holding it until the toilet is free, be prepared to wait.

Uneven Travelers. Most travelers are not exactly equivalent in experiences or wanderlust. Having to look out for someone that is not as comfortable wandering foreign streets can be frustrating and take away from the experience. On the flip side, trying to keep up with a more seasoned traveler who always wants to keep going can be difficult for newer travelers.

You will argue. Couples that travel together will argue. It is going to happen. If you travel for months and don’t argue, something weird is happening. Arguments shouldn’t be constant; but when you spend every waking hour with someone, you’re going to get on each other’s nerves at some point.

Girlfriends are distracting. Girlfriends (or boyfriends, etc.) can be distracting. Instead of getting lost in the destination, paying attention to someone else can take away from the surrounding experience. Rather than focusing on seeing and learning something new, some traveling couples grow comfortable and lose the spark for wanderlust and curiosity. And you just might find yourself involved in a tedious photo shoot.

Less new friends. Solo travelers are forced to be extroverts or risk being alone all the time. They’ll constantly approach other solo travelers and quickly make new friends. Solo travelers rarely, however, engage with couples. I’ve seen it many times. It just doesn’t happen much. Couples are not as quick to put themselves out there, either, thus making fewer friends on the road.

Accommodate someone else. Selflessness is great for a relationship. It can be a nice thing for couples traveling together, but it can also be frustrating. Accommodating someone else often means sacrificing wants and desires. Doing so thousands of miles from home often means missing out on another activity or opportunity that may never come again.

Solo Travel Vs. Travel with a Significant Other

People say that choosing to travel solo is selfish, that traveling with a significant other allows you to share memories, moments and experiences. Obviously, couples that travel together will share more, but that needn’t be an indictment on solo travel as a selfish affair.

For some travelers, seeing the world alone is not about leaving someone behind. It’s about taking on a personal challenge, escaping comfort zones or learning about themselves.

Others choose to travel with a girlfriend or boyfriend in hopes of accomplishing similar goals together. Couples that travel may also have a strong desire to share these memories. Others simply do not enjoy being alone.

Neither is wrong. Everyone should attempt some form of solo travel at least once in their life. It doesn’t have to be a huge excursion. Even a weekend out of town can be a worthwhile experience. In the end, you may learn that you hate the time to yourself. On the other hand, it is entirely possible that a first-time solo traveler will discover something new.

I said it above, but it really is true. If a relationship can survive long-term travel together, it can take on anything.

For couples who wish to give their relationship a hell of a test and determine its strength – and, hopefully, create some happy memories along the way – backpacking and long-term travel is a serious assessment.