Couples traveling together have their work cut out for them. Traveling with a significant other is a challenge for most, and it’s certainly nothing like a cheesy rom-com.
I know. I’ve traveled solo for months, and I’ve also traveled for several months with my girlfriend. Neither is easy, but there are additional challenges faced when traveling with someone else.
The relationships of backpacking and long-term traveling couples rarely survive the trip. Check out Solo Travel Vs. Travel with a Girlfriend for more on the differences of solo travel versus traveling as a couple.
Traveling as a couple requires work. Correction: happy traveling as a couple requires work. Here are 15 tips to help couples traveling together enjoy the experience and avoid frustrations with their significant other:
1. Be Patient
Exercising patience is an important part of any relationship. When traveling, it is paramount for a couple to remain patient. In order to continue having fun and enjoy the destinations, patience goes a long way in keeping moods even and avoiding conflict.
2. Be Nice
Don’t misplace blame. If something goes wrong – when something goes wrong – don’t be a jerk. It’s pretty simple.
We should all try to be nice to one another. Hopefully, couples are nice to each other already, but in the daily frustrations that come with travel, it can be easy to quickly blame someone else for misfortunes or missteps. Cooler heads prevail, and couples that are nicer to each other will travel happily.
3. Be Honest
Honesty is the best policy. Well, honestly, after having that maxim drilled into my head from a young age, I think that’s a load of crap. Brutal honesty just leads to arguments and hurt feelings. Anyway, to keep the peace on the road, be honest with your travel partner.
Don’t be agreeable to everything. Worrying about keeping your significant other happy all the time, while disregarding your own preferences and desires, will only lead to resentment. Speak up. If you’re not enjoying a place or need to slow down, say something! It’s better to vocalize opinions sooner. Bottling up feelings is likely to lead to a massive argument. The bad part about couples arguing while traveling is the distraction from the adventure.
Honest couples will avoid future conflict and travel happier.
4. Spend Time Apart
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? If that’s not the case, how about this: take some time apart from your significant other when traveling, so you don’t get sick of each other.
Even if it’s only a few hours one day a week, spending time alone is important for couples traveling together. Most people don’t have identical interests. Couples should take care to recognize their differences while traveling and make a habit of regularly spending time apart.
On beaches, I like to float in the water or chill beneath an umbrella. My girlfriend will spend hours scouring the shore for rocks and seashells. On days I need to be productive, I’ll find a bar or a coffee shop to work while she’s shopping, watching Netflix or doing who-knows-what. These times apart are what keep us together.
5. Know the Travel Situation
Clarify the travel situation beforehand. Are you traveling as a couple in an equal partnership? Is one person the leader?
It’s important for couples to understand how major travel decisions will be made before setting off for months on the road together. An inexperienced traveler should not take charge over everything in the name of equality.
Relationships should be partnerships, with certain levels of give-and-take. When thousands of miles from home in an unknown land, it’s not all about ensuring each person feels valued in decision-making. If couples are equally experienced and knowledgeable about the destination, that’s a wonderful advantage!
When one person is a little green to backpacking or long-term travel, it’s okay to follow another’s lead. Skills can be honed over time. The primary focus is always smart and safe travel.
6. Talk It Out
Relationships go through rough spells. Couples backpacking or traveling long-term experience the same difficulties.
When relationship problems arise on the road, it doesn’t matter how much time is spent apart. Unresolved issues will fester into something worse. If travel is taking its toll on the relationship, or the arrangement is not working out, talk it out or slow down before the situation worsens. Assuming you want to salvage a relationship, talking it out as soon as possible is the best course of action when traveling.
The worst part about relationship problems on the road is that they get in the way of traveling. Don’t let frustrations with a significant other get in the way of exploring the world and happy travel.
7. Do Couple-y Activities
Being thousands of miles from home does not absolve couples from relationship duties. Treat your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse like they are just that and the trip will go smoother.
Making time for date nights and coupley activities with your travel partner is a great way to maintain a certain level of happiness on the road. Lack of familiarity with a destination is not an excuse. Bike rides, walks in the park or going to see a movie can be fun activities almost anywhere in the world.
I’d rather go to a museum than an amusement park, but it didn’t stop me from getting on a rickety, questionably-safe ferris wheel in Armenia. Did I enjoy it? No, not really. The rusty ride from Soviet times terrified me, but I would do it again.
8. Chip in on the Bill/Decisions
This one is easy. Even if your significant other is financing the travels, make a point to contribute every now and again. Pay for drinks, dinner or admission to an attraction. If you’re lucky enough to get a free ride, make the effort to pitch in on occasion. The gesture is appreciated.
If major travel plans are made by your significant other, contribute to lesser decisions to ease the burden of responsibility. Research the destination and find an activity or restaurant to try. Easing the responsibility of little things helps couples maintain a happy state of travel.
9. Make Friends
Making friends while traveling is more difficult for couples. Backpackers and other solo travelers are often reluctant to approach couples. Traveling couples are less inclined to leave their comfort zone and strike up conversations with strangers, but making friends abroad is just as important as it is at home.
Finding new friends abroad adds a little excitement to the journey. Going out for dinner with others will be more than another meal. New conversations and ideas make daily travel experiences more lively.
Be cautious of meeting an oddly friendly couple. They just might mistake friendship for promiscuity, pull out a bag of blow and invite you to an orgy. Because that actually happened to my girlfriend and me in Asia.
Backpackers are a friendly bunch, and most are not presumptuous groupies. For a better travel experience for couples, find some normal people and make new friends.
10. Be Patient
Yes, again. It’s that important. There is no more important tip for couples traveling together than to be patient, even when it’s hard.
There is no point in being flustered over having to wait for your travel partner. The only result will be further annoyance and an irritated travel partner. And there is no reason to constantly be in a rush when traveling. Timeliness is a valuable trait to have, but the best travel is slow and appreciates the little things.
The way I avoid growing impatient is through timing. I don’t rush to get ready and leave when I know I’ll have to wait. Instead, I time it so we’re both ready about the same time. When time is more important – for instance, when catching a plane or a bus – and we need to leave at 10:00 AM, I say we need to leave at 9:30.
My methods may be misleading, but conflict, annoyance and frustrations are avoided. I also hope my girlfriend doesn’t read this and catch on to my scheme.
11. Be Spontaneous
Sticking to a strict schedule is a great way to make travel boring and uninspiring. For couples, wandering aimlessly is a fun opportunity to explore a destination.
As a solo traveler, I often pick a direction and go. When traveling with a significant other, wandering new cities is a lot more fun. I often overlook sights that draw the attention of my girlfriend. Wandering with her, I’m led to areas that I would otherwise likely miss.
When it comes to sharing unique experiences, structured travel leaves little time for spontaneity and imagination. Freely-traveling backpackers and long-term traveling couples will see more of their destinations. With two heads and less structure, they are likely to let spontaneity take hold and have the most memorable adventures.
12. Make Sacrifices
One of the best things about traveling as a couple is that my girlfriend is much smaller than I am. As a large human (six-foot-three and about 250 pounds), this is a welcome benefit. She is gracious enough to let me encroach into her space on buses and planes. In places like Southeast Asia where transportation is rarely comfortable, her generosity speaks volumes.
I’m not all selfish, though. I have spent many hours sitting on a toddler-sized stool in the aisle of a jam-packed marshrutka (minibus in former Soviet countries), letting her have the seat. And I oblige her desires for shopping and cheeseburgers, as well.
Making sacrifices is crucial for couples to travel harmoniously. Travel, especially backpacking and long-term travel, is not a comfortable affair. Partaking in activities that are of no interest, ceding unused space on planes and eating what your travel partner wants are part of happy travel for couples.
13. Choose Mutually-Appealing Destinations
Expanding on making sacrifices, mutually appealing destinations are important for couples traveling together. Letting your significant other choose the next travel stop is also a good idea.
Long-term travelers and backpackers often set off without strict plans, and couples may not always agree on the next destination. Letting your travel partner pick destinations, or choosing a destination that is mutually appealing, is a good way to keep both parties happy.
14. Pack Appropriately
One foolproof method to piss off your travel partner is to pack like an idiot. Healthy and able backpackers are responsible for carrying their own stuff. Don’t pack more than you can practically handle.
Proper packing is packing light and smart. Practical packing will allow for more comfortable travel and less worrying. All backpackers have their own baggage to haul, and it is not their responsibility to pick up the extra weight of a travel partner. Happy traveling as a couple – and avoiding undue strife – begins with smart packing.
15. Have Fun!
The most important part of traveling is to have fun. With all of the challenges and distractions that accompany traveling with a significant other, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. Couples travel together to see and explore something new with someone special. Don’t let daily frustrations or petty differences hinder a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
If the days of travel grow long and mundane, remember the reason you travel. Find something fun to reignite the wanderlust. Couples have the benefit of traveling with someone else to help keep them motivated and positive. Travel comes with difficulties and challenges, but they are temporary and manageable. Never forget to have fun!
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