Taxis in strange places tend to feel risky, and the first taxi ride in a new country can be nerve-racking. Even at home, the only assurance and peace of mind for millions of people is behind the wheel of their own vehicle.
Cities across the world have taxis with bad reputations. While Bangkok is infamous for debauchery and scores of other scams, taxis in the city are relatively trustworthy. Unfortunately for me, some drivers in Bangkok are not. Here’s the story of my taxi ride nightmare in Bangkok:
From Tropical Paradise to Bangkok
After two weeks in paradise on Malaysian and Thai islands, the time had come to head back inland. Relaxed and tan from lazing on beaches for days, my mind and body was at ease.
Admittedly, as much as I love sipping piña coladas on a beach, the extensive break from winding roads, cramped buses and chaotic cities had me itching to get moving again. And what better place to continue wandering in Southeast Asia than Bangkok!
After a few months in Southeast Asia, I still had not reached the largest, most well-known and most-visited city in the region. I was excited. Hearing crazy stories and reading about the great food, I was brimming with excitement.
To reach Bangkok, I took a ferry to the mainland, then a bus to Krabi Town. After spending a night in Krabi, the next morning I caught an AirAsia flight (about $30 USD) to Bangkok’s Don Mueang International (DMK) Airport, where most budget flights land. Buses from Krabi Town are available, and slightly cheaper than the flight, but take half a day versus one hour on a plane.
Landing at DMK Airport
After landing at DMK Airport in Bangkok, the first thing I did was connect to WiFi. As this first trip (of three) to Bangkok was only for a couple of days before heading to Mandalay (Myanmar), I did not buy a sim card.
After grabbing my backpack from baggage claim and checking taxi fares online, it became apparent that taxis to Bangkok City Center from DMK Airport were going to be very expensive. Unfortunately, there was no way around it. A large chunk of the price is from a toll that is passed on to passengers.
Given that this was my first visit to bustling Bangkok, I decided a car would be the best course of action, rather than taking a bus that would drop me off miles from the hostel. A price was negotiated, and although more than a bus, it seemed reasonable for an airport transfer.
As the car left the airport, my head was turned for the next thirty-plus minutes. Whenever I arrive in a new place, my curiosity takes over and my eyes are focused out the window.
My excitement of being in Bangkok completely distracted me from the taxi driver’s incompetence. Eventually, however, it was impossible to ignore.
An Incompetent Bangkok Taxi Driver
The further we drove, the less my attention was drawn outside the car. At first, I tried to dismiss it as nothing more than another interesting ride on a Southeast Asian road. I soon realized that every other driver on the Bangkok highway, especially taxis, were driving in a normal, sane fashion.
About half of the ride from Bangkok DMK Airport, the taxi driver spent straddling multiple lanes on a highway. When she wasn’t showcasing her inability to pick a lane and recognize the honking directed at her, the taxi was swerving toward other cars.
By now, my curiosity and excitement was replaced with anxiety and fear. Normally, if I recognize a situation as hazardous, I leave it. But how do you get out of a moving taxi on a busy highway in Bangkok?
You don’t.
Finally, our taxi took an exit, left the highway and headed for the streets of Bangkok. Briefly, the taxi driver seemed to be competent once more. I decided to sit tight. Perhaps she was uncomfortable driving on highways? That’s laughable, but it makes some sense.
I was wrong.
Escaping the Worst Taxi Driver in Bangkok
As soon as I my fears subsided, the incompetent taxi driver emerged again.
Stopped at a busy intersection surrounded by towering buildings, we waited for the light to change. After about a minute, the light turned green. Ten seconds later, we were still sitting at the light. Another ten seconds passed. Then I looked over the seat and realized she was asleep.
The beeping horns behind us had no effect. It wasn’t until I spoke up and nudged her that she looked up, acting as if she was just not paying attention to the light. In reality, she was either drunk or exhausted. I cannot be sure, but the difference is minimal.
As the car quickly drove on, my uneasiness returned. I could get out at the next light. But again, it was my first time in Bangkok. I did not know where we were, my best guess – a wild guess, without a sim card to verify – being at least another 15 minutes by car from the hostel.
As we continued through the city streets, the area became more crowded with pedestrians and vehicles. That didn’t stop this taxi driver from dozing off and swerving across lanes of traffic.
I wanted to get out, but the chance didn’t come. Eventually, I reasoned we were pretty close to the hostel and this taxi nightmare in Bangkok would soon come to an end. Again, I was wrong.
When a Taxi Driver Gets Lost in Bangkok
Apparently, for this crazy driver, it was the perfect time to get lost! She began driving aimlessly, in a futile attempt to navigate the streets of Bangkok. It was at this point she decided to stop and ask some local men for help. In doing so, she stopped in the left lane of a four-lane road. This insane taxi driver then proceeded to slowly drive straight across four lanes of oncoming Bangkok traffic, then into an alleyway not fit for cars.
After talking with the men in the alley, she decided to give it another go. At this point, I should have said no and exited the vehicle. Foolishly, I remained inside, in disbelief.
Apparently, the best way to get your taxi out of a narrow alley in Bangkok is to blindly reverse into oncoming traffic. That’s what this driver chose to do. She was now reversing into the same four lanes of speedy traffic we had just dodged. But it gets worse!
As the Bangkok drivers screeched to a halt to accommodate this imbecilic taxi driver, she decided to begin driving the wrong way! This busy road is four lanes of ONE WAY traffic, and she chose to go against the traffic. As we yelled for her to turn around, she stopped – in the middle of the road!
Drivers were honking and yelling at her, and she finally made her way back across the road, pointed in the right direction. We drove up another block before she stopped, once more blocking traffic to the indignation of all Bangkok motorists.
Finally, I had enough.
Enough is Enough
After narrowly avoiding serious collisions and probably death, I got out. At this point, enough was enough. This driver, with her ineptitude and recklessness, would be the death of us. It had to end.
When she finally understood that the ride was over, she quoted me the original, agreed-upon price. I refused to pay the full fare, at which point she became unhappy.
I never skip out on fares. Usually, I tip my drivers, and I’m a good tipper at restaurants. But there was no way in Bangkok taxi hell that I was going to pay the full fare to an incompetent driver who couldn’t find the destination and nearly drove me to my death.
We settled on about half of the original price. It wasn’t much money, but I was irate at this attempted transportation service.
With my best guesses, a screenshot of the hotel and an offline maps app with hit-or-miss accuracy, it was time to find my hostel. And it was absolutely time for a beer. Or five.
Leaving the final scene of my Thai taxi debacle, I got away as quickly as possible. I had no idea where I was, but I believed that the hostel was not too far.
With heavy bags and the sun beating down in the sauna that is Thailand, I started walking. After half an hour, passing the same street market at least twice, it was time to try a different direction.
Another mile later and dripping in sweat, I found the hostel. There are no words to adequately describe my joy. Air conditioning, smiling faces and friendly greetings. My Bangkok taxi nightmare was finally over.
Or so I thought.
The Ultimate Travel Mistake
After saying hello and handing over my passport, I had to pay for the room. I reached in my pocket. No wallet. Checked my fanny pack, nothing other than a few loose baht. Checked my backpack, nothing.
Tearing through my bags and frantically turning out my pockets, there was nothing.
I lost my wallet. In Bangkok.
In the rush to escape from the menace of Thai roads and Bangkok taxi hell, my wallet, which was in my lap during the rollercoaster ride, disappeared.
With the help of the hostel owner, we contacted the taxi company who, in turn, contacted the driver. Of course, the driver found nothing in her death trap. I retraced my steps for more than a mile, but I knew the wallet was gone. It was in the taxi. And even, by chance, if it had fallen into the street, it was not to be found.
The loss stood at two debit cards, one credit card, about 4,000 Thai Baht ($125 USD) and another $20 in USD.
The worst loss was not the cards or the money. In Vietnam, I had purchased a handmade, buffalo-leather wallet. The loss of money and cards was frustrating, but the wallet was something I could not easily replace.
Backup Plans to the Rescue
The first thing to do was to cancel my cards. I immediately called my mother. Luckily, like me, she is a night owl and answered at about 2 AM her time.
Bank security is over the top at times, and, in this instance, the bank would not let her cancel my cards. She then put her phone on speaker and used a landline to call the bank. I spoke from my phone, through hers, into the landline to the bank. Through this ass backwards communication, I finally canceled my cards and ordered replacements.
The only trouble is that I was in Southeast Asia with no reliable address. The only solution was for my mother to ship my cards to a friend in South Korea, where I would be in a few months’ time. Eventually, I would have access to my money.
In the meantime, despite my careless mistake escaping the Bangkok taxi demon, I had a reasonable backup plan. Although I let my guard down in the taxi, my emergency funds and credit cards were still in my backpack.
Fortunately these credit cards were not lost. In case of emergency – or, in this case, stupidity – I always separate some cash and cards when traveling.
Needless to say, the beers that afternoon went down easy.
Travel Lessons Are Learned
My Bangkok taxi nightmare could have been much worse. No one was hurt. No one was abducted or robbed. Those are the real, albeit very rare, horror stories.
In the process, several valuable travel lessons were further ingrained in my mind:
Never, never ever, let go of your wallet. Secure it in a deep pocket with a zipper, in a backpack or in a fanny pack. In my case, I had all of these options, and chose distraction over smart traveling.
Check your pockets and bags for important things when exiting a car, train, etc. Be obsessive. Be paranoid. It’s better than leaving your wallet in a Bangkok taxi.
Wear a seatbelt when possible. This is hard to do in Southeast Asia, but traffic fatalities there are alarmingly high. Crazy driver or not, you don’t want to become a statistic.
Shuttles and buses may be crowded, overwhelming and uncomfortable, but there is far more certainty and safety than with a random driver.
Verify your taxi. While I was not scammed (by this taxi driver), research and be aware of common taxi scams.
Have a backup plan. Even if you’re traveling for a weekend away, it is always best practice to have someone you can contact if something goes wrong. Whether that is family, friends or anyone, be prepared for the worst case scenario.
My Bangkok Taxi Ride Nightmare
Another bit of luck I had in this taxi nightmare was having my girlfriend with me in Bangkok. On a normal day, she is forgetful. In fact, the day prior to this disaster, she left her iPhone on a bus. And that wasn’t the first time. Or the second. Or the last.
In the time that she was with me on this trip, she depended heavily on me, the seasoned traveler, to lead us around Southeast Asia. On the first day in Bangkok, she saved the day. While I was getting a headache from talking to banks, she covered the hostel, food and beer.
Some people, like her, leave important things behind and somehow they come right back to her. I do not have that luck.
Solo travel is great. I prefer traveling alone most of the time. In the event that a worst case scenario comes to life, it’s a blessing when someone is there to have your back. If you are traveling solo, you have to be doubly careful and aware. We all make mistakes traveling. Most can be avoided, but sometimes we walk right into a trap.
Start with never trusting your taxi in Bangkok.
My Bangkok taxi nightmare was not that bad. In the end, the worst part of the whole ordeal was inconvenience from my carelessness. I always check my pockets when exiting buses, trains, planes and cars. Especially, obsessively, when traveling.
In this instance, I let my guard down. I let my frustrations with a crazy driver and the emotions of being somewhere new distract me being a smart traveler. I learned a valuable lesson, and I won’t be making this mistake again.
You might want to add to your story that a bit of researching public transportation can pay off. DMK can have very long taxi lines. A bus waiting right outside when you exit the terminal building (ask for the bus that brings you to the BTS) brings you to the BTS last station. From there all of Bangkok is easily accessible. Buy a card for say 500 baht and you can get on and off the BTS wherever. Much faster normally by bus and BTS than by taxi.
Useful information, indeed, but it’s not a transpo guide as much as a story of letting my guard down, all travelers make mistakes eventually and having backup plans